Hello lovely people! Today we are breaking down the most common questions we get from brides and grooms on wedding etiquette and giving you some basic guidelines to follow when planning. Here are our top ten dos and don’ts when it comes to your wedding:
Tip vendor
So the rule of thumb here is that vendors who do an exceptional job and really help enhance the overall experience of your wedding should get a tip. Now, keep in mind this is not a requirement but it is a nice addition to include for those who helped make your big day flow smoothly. Some tipping guidelines include 15-20% for catering staff, 10-15% for band or DJ and 15-20% for hair and makeup stylists. A lot of times tips are included in the contract so if that is the case then you don’t need to worry about it but just make sure beforehand.
A list versus B list
Don’t do it…. Guests will know right away that they are a second round pick and it can make you look very rude. Now, if you are creating a list of likely versus unlikely guests to attend then this is more acceptable. For example, if you have guests you want to invite from out of town who might be less likely to be able to make it, you should go ahead and send those out first. We suggest maybe 3-4 weeks before the remainder of the invitations. That way if some of the oot guests are unable to make it, you should have enough time to be able to invite more people who maybe you are less close with but would be more likely to make it to the wedding based on their location.
Registration versus asking for cash
We wouldn’t recommend asking for cash.. You should really have some form of registry. There are always things that any new couple can use and replaces such as new sheets or bath towels. But if you have a smaller registry people will get the point and more than likely just revert to cash. Another great option for couples to opt to do rather than a traditional wedding registry is a honeymoon registry. This is where your guests can purchase different options for you to do on your honeymoon such as a romantic dinner or couples massage. Your guests set the price for how much they want to spend, then the website takes a small percentage and finally after the registry closes the website will send you a check in the mail for the total amount. A good website to use for this option is www.honeyfund.com
Seating Chart versus assigned seat
Ultimately, this decision should really be based upon the size of your wedding and who is attending. For example, if it is just a small, family wedding and everyone knows each other really well then yeah no seating chart SHOULD be fine but once we start inviting more people it can get messy. Overall, it really is just easier to tell people where to sit. That way they are sitting with their dates and there is no confusion, discomfort or worst of all fighting.
Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
There can be a lot of stipulation behind who should be asked to be a part of the wedding party but really it is up to the couple. If we are looking at what is most commonly accepted then ok the average size is four bridesmaids and four groomsmen including maid of honor and best man. One thing to keep in mind when choosing your group is the responsibility and financial obligations that will come with the job. Most bridesmaids and groomsmen attend all of the major events and in most cases throw them such as the bachelor/bachelorette parties. So we suggest just making sure your choices are fully up to the task because once you ask someone to be in your wedding party there really is no taking it back! The really important thing to remember though is that you are choosing the people you love the most who are gonna help you enjoy your special day!
Cash Bar versus Open Bar
Ok..now..this one can be a little controversial.. but in our opinion you really should pay for at least a piece of the bar tab for your guests. If the bar tab is not looking like it is in the budget, maybe you should reconsider headcount because it can look pretty tacky when you start asking your guests to pay for drinks. If you don’t want to have a full open bar with cocktails that can run up the tab quickly, maybe consider doing beer and wine only or cocktails for only the cocktail hour. Another option to help lower the cost if your guests aren’t really a drinking crowd is to just do an on consumption tab for a couple of hours. This way you’re not stuck with a high bar fee if it is not really going to be utilized and you can just pay for the alcohol that is consumed. Regardless of the direction you decide to take it, we suggest having some form of free alcohol for at least a portion of your reception.
Who Comes to the Rehearsal Dinner?
The rehearsal dinner is normally more of an intimate setting, meant for those in the wedding party and close friends and family. Due to this, there is not an obligation to extend an invitation to an attendee’s wedding guest. If you keep the rehearsal dinner guest list exclusively to immediate family and close friends the wedding guests will understand. One thing to keep in mind is that if you have out of town guests attending your wedding, it is always nice gesture to invite them to your rehearsal dinner. Traveling can be costly and making them feel as included as possibly is definitely a good idea.
Do I need to have a cake?
Having a wedding cake is one of those traditions that are okay to leave out if it is not something you are crazy about. A lot of couples chose to just do a dessert buffet and have a small cake for just them or to just leave it out all together. One thing to keep in mind however is that the cake cutting portion of the reception is a common indicator that it will be finishing up shortly. Plus it’s always good to end dinner with dessert, it just feels more complete. Due to this, we do recommend having some form of dessert to help wrap things up to a close. Even if you did take home desserts, such as bags of cookies, would help end that night on a sweet note.
Kids versus No Kids
Now this is one of those things where there is no right answer. Kids or no kids, it is up to you but whatever you do chose, you have to stick with. You don’t want to say it is okay for some people to bring kids and others to not bring kids because it just makes you look rude. Don’t make exceptions! However, it is commonly acceptable to invite the flower girl and the ring bearer because they are a part of the wedding party.
Tip vendor
So the rule of thumb here is that vendors who do an exceptional job and really help enhance the overall experience of your wedding should get a tip. Now, keep in mind this is not a requirement but it is a nice addition to include for those who helped make your big day flow smoothly. Some tipping guidelines include 15-20% for catering staff, 10-15% for band or DJ and 15-20% for hair and makeup stylists. A lot of times tips are included in the contract so if that is the case then you don’t need to worry about it but just make sure beforehand.
A list versus B list
Don’t do it…. Guests will know right away that they are a second round pick and it can make you look very rude. Now, if you are creating a list of likely versus unlikely guests to attend then this is more acceptable. For example, if you have guests you want to invite from out of town who might be less likely to be able to make it, you should go ahead and send those out first. We suggest maybe 3-4 weeks before the remainder of the invitations. That way if some of the oot guests are unable to make it, you should have enough time to be able to invite more people who maybe you are less close with but would be more likely to make it to the wedding based on their location.
Registration versus asking for cash
We wouldn’t recommend asking for cash.. You should really have some form of registry. There are always things that any new couple can use and replaces such as new sheets or bath towels. But if you have a smaller registry people will get the point and more than likely just revert to cash. Another great option for couples to opt to do rather than a traditional wedding registry is a honeymoon registry. This is where your guests can purchase different options for you to do on your honeymoon such as a romantic dinner or couples massage. Your guests set the price for how much they want to spend, then the website takes a small percentage and finally after the registry closes the website will send you a check in the mail for the total amount. A good website to use for this option is www.honeyfund.com
Seating Chart versus assigned seat
Ultimately, this decision should really be based upon the size of your wedding and who is attending. For example, if it is just a small, family wedding and everyone knows each other really well then yeah no seating chart SHOULD be fine but once we start inviting more people it can get messy. Overall, it really is just easier to tell people where to sit. That way they are sitting with their dates and there is no confusion, discomfort or worst of all fighting.
Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
There can be a lot of stipulation behind who should be asked to be a part of the wedding party but really it is up to the couple. If we are looking at what is most commonly accepted then ok the average size is four bridesmaids and four groomsmen including maid of honor and best man. One thing to keep in mind when choosing your group is the responsibility and financial obligations that will come with the job. Most bridesmaids and groomsmen attend all of the major events and in most cases throw them such as the bachelor/bachelorette parties. So we suggest just making sure your choices are fully up to the task because once you ask someone to be in your wedding party there really is no taking it back! The really important thing to remember though is that you are choosing the people you love the most who are gonna help you enjoy your special day!
Cash Bar versus Open Bar
Ok..now..this one can be a little controversial.. but in our opinion you really should pay for at least a piece of the bar tab for your guests. If the bar tab is not looking like it is in the budget, maybe you should reconsider headcount because it can look pretty tacky when you start asking your guests to pay for drinks. If you don’t want to have a full open bar with cocktails that can run up the tab quickly, maybe consider doing beer and wine only or cocktails for only the cocktail hour. Another option to help lower the cost if your guests aren’t really a drinking crowd is to just do an on consumption tab for a couple of hours. This way you’re not stuck with a high bar fee if it is not really going to be utilized and you can just pay for the alcohol that is consumed. Regardless of the direction you decide to take it, we suggest having some form of free alcohol for at least a portion of your reception.
Who Comes to the Rehearsal Dinner?
The rehearsal dinner is normally more of an intimate setting, meant for those in the wedding party and close friends and family. Due to this, there is not an obligation to extend an invitation to an attendee’s wedding guest. If you keep the rehearsal dinner guest list exclusively to immediate family and close friends the wedding guests will understand. One thing to keep in mind is that if you have out of town guests attending your wedding, it is always nice gesture to invite them to your rehearsal dinner. Traveling can be costly and making them feel as included as possibly is definitely a good idea.
Do I need to have a cake?
Having a wedding cake is one of those traditions that are okay to leave out if it is not something you are crazy about. A lot of couples chose to just do a dessert buffet and have a small cake for just them or to just leave it out all together. One thing to keep in mind however is that the cake cutting portion of the reception is a common indicator that it will be finishing up shortly. Plus it’s always good to end dinner with dessert, it just feels more complete. Due to this, we do recommend having some form of dessert to help wrap things up to a close. Even if you did take home desserts, such as bags of cookies, would help end that night on a sweet note.
Kids versus No Kids
Now this is one of those things where there is no right answer. Kids or no kids, it is up to you but whatever you do chose, you have to stick with. You don’t want to say it is okay for some people to bring kids and others to not bring kids because it just makes you look rude. Don’t make exceptions! However, it is commonly acceptable to invite the flower girl and the ring bearer because they are a part of the wedding party.
